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Sex Can (And Should) Be Wonderful

One of the nation's outstanding hypnotherapists who is also a  psychologist has commented that good sex is simply an erotic trance.  When the similarities between hypnosis and satisfying sex are  considered, he is quite correct. Effective hypnosis involves high focus and concentration on the matter being dealt with. So does effective  sex. In hypnosis there is a strong response to suggestion. In sex  there is a strong response to stimulation.

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Hypnotherapy in Sex Problems


Stress  Management

Sex therapists may not know much about hypnosis. But  hypnotherapists surely need to know about sex. From any approach the  basic effort is to free patients from worries, distractions, emotions or other disturbances so as to develop a focused state of awareness.  Orgasm may well be the ultimate trance-sensations are powerful, highly  concentrated to the point where all other thoughts, feelings, sensations or emotions are obliterated from the mind.

When problems develop in sexual performance or enjoyment, a logical approach is (as in many other problem areas) to look for causes. What  has happened? When did problems begin? How did they progress? Quite  often hypnotic regression may prove revealing, locating sources of  problems and indicating the appropriate therapeutic procedures to  resolve them.

It is valuable at the outset to determine the client's dominant  type of sexuality-physical or emotional. Normal people are a blend of  both, though one is usually a bit stronger. Sexuality, as with  suggestibility, can be measured to determine the dominant type and  evaluate its relative factor of strength. The physically sexual person  is likely to be a bit more outgoing, even aggressive, sexually. To the  emotional sexual, feelings are probably more internal. For effective  therapy it is important to identify sexuality type in order to  understand response.

While marital compatibility has been studied, reported and written  about in volumes, personality compatibility has received minimal  attention. It has long been recognized that opposites attract-this  factor is usually responsible for the "spark" that draws people  together. Yet the same "opposite" element provides the breeding ground  for future conflict, communication problems, lack of understanding of  intents and emotions and other factors which mature into insecurities.  Understanding sexuality types, then, can facilitate compatibility.

Viva la Difference

There is an old story told about a forum on sexuality at which a  famous professor explained to the audience that "there is really very  little difference between the male and the female." Before he could  proceed further a resounding male voice called out from the back of the  hall in an unmistakably French accent: "Vive la difference!"

A client who, for example, is 60% physically suggestible is  therefore also 40% emotionally suggestible, and has enough emotional  suggestibility to understand, appreciate and adjust to the needs and  personality of a partner who is dominantly emotionally suggestible. On  the other hand, a client who is 80% physically suggestible is likely to  have a much more difficult time either understanding or adjusting to an  emotional suggestible mate. Some work is almost certain to be needed to  modify the suggestibilities involved so as to bring them within ranges  of psychological compatibility, saving the relationship and making it  more enjoyable. Sexuality type refers to behavior-performance-not  simply in sexual matters but in all aspects of life, dealing with  situations as well as relationships. Counseling and hypnotherapy can  provide opportunities and means to make directional changes that can  avoid detrimental life patterns and open doors to successful and joyful  living.

Determining Factors

Some authorities on sexuality claim that a person's type of  sexuality is determined by the father (or father figure) in a family,  usually in pre-teen or early teen years. Children who have fathers who  are physically oriented-demonstrative, verbal, outgoing-are likely to  emerge with physically sexual characteristics. In cases where the  mother is of the physically sexual type, and the father is not,  emotional sexuality is likely to develop.

However, the above is not always the case. Sometimes a child will  develop opposite sexuality from the father because sexuality is affected by how the child perceives the father's behavior and an inaccurate  perception can alter the development process.

Major differences in types of sexuality can be  relationship-shattering. The most permanent solution to such problems  lies in behavior modification. Hypnotherapy can assist clients with  extreme differences that may exist out of ignorance and/or  misinformation. Understanding is necessary to remove fears and permit  relaxation so as to adopt or accept some of the behavioral patterns  characteristic of opposite sexuality types.

As modification enables behavior patterns to become less extreme on either side of the center, a balance can develop between closeness and  distance, both of which are necessary in rewarding relationships. This  results from the achievement of better balance between the physical and  emotional sexuality characteristics of the partners involved, and leads  to understanding, appreciation and communication levels which can prove  mutually satisfying while increasing relationship bonds.

Hypnotherapy has proved wonderfully helpful in dealing with  psychosomatic sexual problems-impotence, frigidity, etc.-and in  enhancing self-esteem and confidence where necessary. The development  of a positive self-image is always an important factor in adjusting to  the needs and desires of partners and achieving the ultimate in  relationship security.

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